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November is National Adoption Month, and so it seems fitting to share our family’s story about the importance of permanency in a child’s life. It was Open House at our sons’ Christian elementary school. Chris was in 6th grade, Anthony (Ant) in 5th. As I entered Chris’s classroom, I noticed a collection of paper shamrocks on the wall, with the words “My Favorite Bible Verse” written above them. I quickly searched for and found Chris’s shamrock, and I began to read it.
James 1:27: “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”
As an adoptive dad (then of 3, now of 7) and professional foster care and adoption advocate, James 1:27 has long been one of my favorite verses as well. Its words have been a part of so many one-on-one conversations I’ve had with people discussing God’s heart for vulnerable children, as well as public talks I’ve given in churches, at conferences, and other foster care and adoption-related events, over the past 20-plus years. Seeing that it was Chris’s favorite verse at age 12 was deeply moving to me. I’ve shared his shamrock with many others when discussing foster care and adoption throughout the years since, including at more than 40 Focus on the Family Wait No More events and during National Adoption Month.
National Adoption Month
November is recognized throughout the United States as National Adoption Month, during which we bring awareness to the needs of the tens of thousands of youth and children in the United States foster care system who are in need of permanent families. Though the number of waiting children has dropped in recent years, there were still more than 77,000 children in foster care who were legally freed for adoption as of September 30, 2023, according to the Administration of Children and Families’ Adoption and Foster Care Reporting System (AFCARS).
Children enter foster care for a multitude of reasons, with neglect being the most common factor. Neglect can wreak havoc on a young child’s brain development, leading to struggles that often last a lifetime. Telling a child through your words and actions that he/she is not worthy of love and proper parental care goes against his/her very nature as created human beings, as it is the exact opposite of the truth: That each and every child born into this world is made in the image of God and is therefore precious and worthy of love, care, and protection.
I chose this verse because it makes me remember that God told us to visit orphans and widows at hard times, and I was an orphan for a while until my parents obeyed this verse and took my brother, Anthony, and me into their family.
– Chris Moore
National Adoption Month: Sharing Our Adoption Story
Terri and I talked about adoption before we married. It was clear God had placed adoption on both of our hearts, so there was little discussion and no debate over whether we would actually follow through. Once married, we got caught up in school, careers, traveling, etc., for several years, but in early 2000, began to discuss children and adoption more seriously.
We became certified as foster parents in Los Angeles County, California, in April 2000. On the morning of July 5, 2000, Chris and Ant walked through our front door after spending about two weeks in temporary shelter care. I won’t go into the specifics of what led them into foster care, but you can read more about it in Chris’s own words, which he shared in an article for Focus on the Family.
Chris and Ant
Chris and Ant were our first foster care placement. By the time they went to bed that first night, Terri and I were physically, mentally, and emotionally drained (perhaps “depleted” would be a more fitting word) and wondering what we’d gotten ourselves into. If we’re honest, we still feel that way some days, these 25-plus years later.
Though we’d been told at the outset that the boys would be with us for as little as five days, the placement continued. Court dates came and went, severe challenges to the placement arose, and God showed up in so many ways. On April 2, 2003, we legally adopted the boys. It remains one of the happiest days of our lives.
The Value of Permanency
Permanency should never be denied to any child, and yet thousands of youth age out of foster care every year without ever experiencing it. It is little wonder that many of the young adults who age out find themselves struggling with addiction, incarceration, homelessness, and more as they try to navigate the world without the support of a loving and caring family.
Permanency is crucial to the healing process for many abused, neglected, and/or abandoned children, though it is not the end. In many ways, it is only the beginning, in that permanency hopefully provides a safe, supportive, and stable environment in which healing can take place. The healing process itself can be painful and difficult for everyone involved, and it can take a heavy toll on both children and parents, as well as others around them. It is almost never quickly done, and can often take a lifetime.
The Impact of Permanency in Chris’ Story
For Chris and us, the road to health was often difficult, with so many bumps and detours, yet still, even in the midst of hard times, we could see God’s steady hand at work in his and our lives. There were times when his trauma fought hard against God’s healing hand, and there were times our own sinful natures and ignorance got in the way as well. Still, God was, and is, faithful, and we’ve been able to watch in awe as He’s molded Chris into the young man He created him to be.
When I get older, I’m going to remember this verse and not only visit orphans and widows, but adopt some orphans into my family, like God says and like my parents’ example.
– Chris Moore
It remains to be seen if Chris will adopt children one day, but he has already lent his voice to helping vulnerable children by writing about his foster care and adoption journey, and by speaking about it at various events, including a Wait No More event attended by hundreds of people in Chattanooga, Tennessee. He and I also had the opportunity to visit orphans together on a mission trip to Mexico several years ago.
Chris’ Life Today
Today, Chris is 31, married, and the father of two of the cutest boys the world has seen since, well, him and his brother. He’s a homeowner and works as a Warranty Field Rep for a local construction company. He is active and has served in his local church in various capacities. He’s a talented cook who creates culinary masterpieces in his kitchen (and on his deck) from various world cuisines, a far cry from the five-year-old we took in who would have been content to eat corn dogs at every meal. He’s also a wonderful and loving husband, father, brother, and son.
We are so proud of Chris and who he is, but it goes beyond that. We are also blessed and humbled that God was able to use us to help Chris find healing and grow into the man he is today.
