In our more than 16 years as foster parents in Los Angeles County, we experienced an emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual roller coaster journey that brought some of the highest highs of our lives, as well as some of our lowest lows. Through that time, we discovered the power and deep need for encouragement for foster parents.
There were many times that we were so aware of God’s grace and His hand in our lives, and so amazed at what He was doing, that we wanted to tell everyone we met (and we often did!) that they too should consider foster care.
There were other times we wanted to walk — or sprint — away from it all. Times we wanted to shout from the rooftops to all who would listen that if they wanted to experience that life “to the full” that Jesus came to bring, they needed to stay as far away from the foster care system as possible.
Looking back, we know those negative thoughts were not from God. They were from an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy — an enemy who wants us all busying ourselves with other matters, rather than caring for vulnerable children whom God loves so much and wants to place in our lives.
Key Takeaways
- Foster care is deeply rewarding but genuinely hard. It brings profound highs and serious lows, and burnout is a real and normal part of the journey — not a sign of failure.
- You will need a support system before you start. Building one before your first placement is essential, not optional. Family and friends are a good start, but they may pull back when things get tough.
- Foster parent support groups are invaluable. Whether formal or informal, being around people who truly “get it” is one of the most important things a foster parent can do to stay the course.
- The hard emotions are valid. Exhaustion, despair, and pain are real — and acknowledging them honestly, especially in community, helps foster parents persevere.
- Faith can be a powerful anchor. For Christian foster parents specifically, scripture and a sense of divine calling can provide motivation and comfort when circumstances feel overwhelming.
- Remembering your “why” matters. When burnout hits, returning to the original reasons for fostering — and the belief that it’s meaningful work — can help foster parents push through.
Foster Care Burnout
Perhaps you read and meditated on all the scriptures about God’s heart for orphans and vulnerable children. First, you heard the sermons about how we’re to love the least of these, how pure religion is, in part, found in caring for widows and orphans. You saw the need. You sensed the touch of the Holy Spirit to share His heart by opening your family and home to children who need both. Then, you took that giant leap of faith and opened your home.
Now you find yourself on the edge of quitting. The children are precious, image-bearers of God, and so innocent, yet many bring with them so much baggage–baggage they are ill-equipped to carry, baggage that they invariably ask you to carry for them. You juggle the demands of your everyday life (which already seemed busy beyond belief) with the demands for facilitating family visits, appointments with social workers, doctors, and therapists, court dates, and more. Your friends and even some family members have not followed through with the support you feel you need. Some have even backed away from you altogether.
You want to give up, but you look to God and cry out for help to stay the course.
The Reality of Foster Parenting
If you foster long enough, you will experience foster care burnout to some degree. You will likely have times you need a short break, or even an extended one. You may feel you need to stop altogether.
The reality is, foster parenting is hard work. The demands society places on foster parents can seem crushing at times, and it can often feel that you face those demands with little knowledge, little support, and little appreciation.
Know this. The emotions you experience are real. The despair is real. The utter exhaustion is real. The pain is real.
Take heart. There is hope.
Support Groups Create Encouragement for Foster Parents
One of THE most important things you can do as you navigate your journey in foster care is to become part of a foster parent support group, or even more than one if needed and able. Foster parent support groups are generally not difficult to find. Some foster agencies organize formal foster parent support groups. A local bridge organization might host one. Some church-based foster care ministries offer them.
A foster parent support group does not need to be formal, however. It can also be an informal group of friends who commit to walking and sharing life with one another as they all experience the ups and downs of foster care. We belonged to one such group for years during our time as foster parents in Southern California. We regularly met at someone’s house, shared dinner, watched videos together (thank you, Dr. Purvis!), and discussed various issues we were facing. Being with others who “got it” was crucial in helping us all open up and be honest and vulnerable about our struggles.
Start With A Strong Support System
It’s crucial before you even take your first placement to have a strong support system in place. Often, and hopefully, that will include family and friends who encourage you and stand ready to help with prayer, meals, rides, babysitting, and more.
The importance of being with others who share the same or similar experiences as you cannot be overstressed, however. Once you actually welcome a child or children into your home, and you begin to face issues and situations you’ve only read about or heard about in trainings, you will need others by your side who have been (or are currently) in your shoes. If not, you may soon find yourself lacking the support you need, especially if the wheels come off, as they often do in foster care. Tragically, many foster parents find both family and friends backing off and keeping more distance when things get difficult. We have experienced that distancing and, in those times, our friendships with others in our foster parent support group helped us keep our heads above water without feeling abandoned or judged.
Biblical Encouragement for Foster Parents
As Christians, we can find encouragement not only from others, but from the word of God as well. So many times in my foster care journey, I’ve recalled and meditated on verses that help remind me not only of why we were fostering, but that we were not alone, that God Himself was with us.
When times get difficult, it is important to remember the why.
- Why did we sign up for this?
- Why did we agree to allow our lives to be so disrupted?
- Why do we put up with the effects of trauma that we didn’t inflict, the myriad appointments, the seemingly endless intrusions into our personal lives by so many strangers?
- Why can’t we just go back to the lives we lived before, when things were so much easier and calmer?
The answer is simple. We do what we do because God has called us to it, and the best place for us to be as Christians is the center of God’s will.
Encouragement for Foster Parents From God’s Word
According to God’s word, when we welcome vulnerable children into our homes, we …
… live out what God created us to do.
For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. (Ephesians 2:10)
… glorify His name before others.
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)
… act justly, show mercy, and learn to walk humbly with God.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8)
… demonstrate what pure and faultless religion looks like.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to visit widows and orphans in their distress … (James 1:27)
… can find rest in Jesus.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
… can “let go” and know that He is in control.
“Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)
God has called you to do His kingdom work. Take heart, because not only are others standing by to support you, but God Himself is with you and will not abandon you.
Summary: Encouragement for Foster Parents
Foster parenting is not for the faint of heart, but then again, God rarely calls us to the easy path. In more than sixteen years of navigating the highs and lows of foster care, we have learned that two things above all else will carry you through the hardest seasons: community and faith. Find your people, those who truly understand the weight you carry, and lean on them without shame. And when the road feels impossibly long, return to the Word, return to your calling, and remember that the God who placed these children in your home has not left you to face it alone. You are seen, you are supported, and the work you are doing matters more than you may ever know this side of eternity.
© 2026 Johnston Moore. Used with Permission.
