“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NIV)
Early on in our parenting journey with our girls from hard places, I volunteered a lot of time at our adoption agency and eventually became a certified trainer for our state’s foster parent training. I would train families in partnership with a case manager from our agency. It was a great way to give and get support in my journey of adopting a child and showing them Jesus’ love. One evening, while driving home, my phone rang with a call from a case manager I often trained with and had developed a wonderful friendship with. She said, “Can I vent for a moment?” I said, “Sure!” The conversation that followed would be the start of a passion in my heart for families parenting children from hard places, especially those who are followers of Jesus Christ.
Adopting a Child: A Reflection of Jesus’ Love
My friend burst into tears and said, “I’ve had eight adoption disruptions this week! Eight kids sent back into foster care because their families decided that their behaviors were too much for them. I don’t understand it. I mean, I know it’s not easy, but these are good kids who’ve been through so much.” As I tried to process all my thoughts, she continued, “And the thing that bothers me the most is that they’re Christian families! Families who told these kids that they loved them unconditionally and they were going to be a part of their family forever… families that told these kids that Jesus loves them and wants them to be a part of His family forever. Pam, if the family doesn’t want them anymore…do you think they think that Jesus doesn’t want them either?”
The weight of this conversation sat heavily on me all night at home. Before going to bed that night, I said to God, “Lord, if there’s anything I can do, please tell me.” The next morning at 5 am, the Lord woke me up with 30 scriptures and topics. I got up and wrote them all down on a piece of paper. Those 30 scriptures would later become my first book, a 30-day devotional for foster and adoptive parents called Ready or Not. It was the beginning of God teaching me the depth of His love for the broken, especially for my girls with broken histories that He had given me to love on His behalf.
Adopting a Child Means Loving Them as Jesus Loves Them
There have been many times in our family when this commitment to love an adopted child has been put to the test. One of our girls struggled greatly with violent outbursts and would sometimes target one of her sisters. After many of these struggles, we realized that she couldn’t live in our home for a while, so she left to stay with a friend. While packing her things, her dad entered her room and said, “I want you to know we love you. Just because you don’t live in our home doesn’t mean you’re not our daughter. You are. You always will be.”
And he meant it; we meant it. We navigated that season and several others, and continue to have a wonderful relationship with this amazing, sweet, and healing girl. We’re so proud of all of her hard work in healing her life and count it an honor to be able to cheer her on.
Jesus’ Love Never Abandons Us
One of our other daughters decided in her mid-twenties that she no longer wanted us to be her parents (to be clear, mistakes were made on both sides—hers and ours). For the better part of four years, she ignored us, refused to acknowledge us, and rejected us completely. Then, because of a crisis, she needed somewhere to stay, so we went and got her, and she spent six weeks with us. After those six weeks, we hoped things would be different when she left for another state for work. Nope. She cut us off completely again. Nearly two years went by, and then she reached out. Over a six-month period, our relationship began to be repaired. She’s back in our family, and we’ve had many healing conversations. During the nearly six-year process, the one thing that remained was us.
We told her time and time again, “We can’t control what you do. We don’t want to do that. What we can control is our commitment to you. We are committed to being your Dad and Mom, which is always what we are. We know it makes you mad when we say that, but we will not stop because it’s true, and we love you.” The only line we drew was that we were her parents and loved her unconditionally. To have done anything different would have been, whether she realized it immediately or not, abandonment. Jesus never abandons us. We would never abandon her, even if that’s what she thought she wanted.
Your “Yes” Is a Covenant
We are called to embody the depth of God’s love—a love that protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. This love is not always easy or comfortable, but it is steadfast and courageous. It is a love that mirrors Christ’s sacrifice for us, one that is willing to endure hardships for the sake of our children. Remember that your “yes” to these children is a covenant with a promise-keeping God, and your steadfast love can be a powerful testimony of His unending grace and commitment. Stand firm in this love, knowing that it has the power to heal, restore, and transform lives.
Short Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for showing us the true meaning of love through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Help us to embody this love when adopting a child and in our parenting, especially when it is difficult. Give us the strength to protect, trust, hope, and persevere, reflecting Your unconditional love to our children. May our actions and words be a testament to Your faithfulness and grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
©2025 Pam Parish. Used with Permission.
