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He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
Ephesians 1:4-6
How Do You Pray Through The Decision to Care For Children?
After we gave birth to our biological daughter, I felt many insecurities about becoming a parent. I remember coming home from the hospital, walking into the house, sitting down on a chair with her in my arms, and thinking, “What do we do now?”
We had spent seven days in the NICU and had grown accustomed to various nurses, doctors, and experts guiding us in her care. Now, here we were, alone with a tiny baby! Who let this happen? Who were we to think we can be great parents? In an instant, all the insecurities bubbled to the surface. Could we really do this? What if something happens? Yet less than 24 hours later, we were in a rhythm and began to figure things out as a little family of three.
I experienced a very similar feeling in our foster care and adoption journey. After we finished all of our classes, read all the books, and turned in all the paperwork, the insecurities began to set in. What if we can’t do this? Might we have heard God wrong? What if the child doesn’t like us? Who are we to think we can handle this? There were so many ‘what if’ questions!
The Example of Moses
In a very similar way, Moses dealt with insecurity when God called to him from a burning bush to deliver the children of Israel from the grip of Pharaoh. Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go?” to which God replied, “I will be with you.” I encourage you to read the conversation from Exodus Chapters 3 and 4.
God was extremely patient with Moses’ doubts and insecurity. He only became angry when Moses asked God to send someone else. But even in His anger with Moses, He still displayed grace and provision by allowing Aaron to go with him. God chose Moses. And if you’ve made it this far in the journey and clearly feel that God is choosing you, you must cast all of your cares upon Him and trust that He will deal with you in grace and provide an Aaron to walk alongside you.
One of the biggest ways that my insecurity was tested early on was thinking that any failure that I had would reflect poorly on God and possibly cause others not to want to foster or adopt if they saw us struggling. That was a lie straight from the pit of darkness. What God calls others to do is not my responsibility or yours. If we think it is, we are thinking way higher of ourselves than we ought. God is a big God and is quite capable of calling others into His service without our help. Contrary to my insecurities, I realized my weakness allowed others to step forward because they knew they had the freedom to be vulnerable and admit their fears and failures.
Biblical Reminders When Dealing with Insecurities
Ephesians 1:4-6 reminds us of three significant things, especially when dealing with insecurity.
1) God has chosen us. He has set each of us aside to live out our lives in glory to Him and as a reflection of His love and holiness. This journey of foster care and adoption is exactly that. A journey that He has chosen for us that brings glory to Him and reflects His love and holiness to the world.
2) We are adopted as sons and daughters. He didn’t just call us on this journey. He did it first for us. In the same way that we can call Him Father because of all Jesus sacrificed for us on the Cross, we can model sacrifice to become parents and caregivers to children from hard places.
3) We are accepted just the way we are. God knows you and I aren’t perfect and will make mistakes. He accepts us the way we are because He knows that in our weakness, He is made strong.
Prayer Starters to Overcome Insecurities
Here are some prayer starters to help you seek God in a deeper way:
Father, I believe you have called me on this journey. Help me to lay my fears and insecurities before you so that you can provide resources, tools, and individuals to help me along the way.
Thank you for the example that you have set in my own adoption as your child. Please guide me in wisdom and grace as I seek to reflect your image in my own adoption and fostering of another one of your precious children.
Please begin to direct people to be my Aaron into my path so that I have others to lean on along the way.
As you step forward in insecurity, remember that you can cast your cares upon Him. Just like He did with Moses, He can take your questions, fears, and uncertainty and give you grace and provision.
