How do you pray through the decision to care for foster and adoptive children, and how do you do it with peace of mind? The verse that naturally came to my mind was Philippians 4:6-7 which says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
But the Lord reminded me that although both were powerful truths about peace, John 16:33 is the central truth I had to come to grips with in my journey. The truth is that Jesus warned us about many troubling things so that we could experience Philippians 4:6-7 as we go through the troubles that He said would inevitably come. He promised we would have a peace that transcends understanding. A peace that doesn’t make sense. A peace that practices joy in the midst of suffering. Ultimately, that means the troubles wouldn’t surprise us or shake us. That’s the peace that I came to know in my own journey. And that’s the peace I encourage you to embrace as you continue to pray and petition God about your journey.
Finding Peace of Mind When It’s All Falling Apart
One of the most troubling times in our own family was a season where I felt like everything was falling apart. The chaos in our home was a daily challenge: everything from grades to attitudes, to risky online behaviors, to actual running away—trauma was tearing a path through our world. It became so great that the only place that I could go was to my knees in heartbroken tears. At every turn, it felt like we were failing, and our dreams for our family were shattering like glass at our feet.
It was in a very heartbroken and raw prayer with tons of self-pity in my heart that I began to question God on why He called us to this, how He could allow it to be this bad when we were only trying to do a good thing, and why I had to suffer in this way. As I sobbed, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart with a simple question, “Who told you that you get to write her (one of my particular daughters that I was moaning in prayer about) story?” Ouch.
A Gentle Reminder
Gently, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the scripture from Hebrews 12:3, “…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith…” He reminded me that I have nothing to do with where my kids’ faith journeys begin—at salvation—that work was done on the Cross by Jesus.
I am the recipient of the same grace that my children receive and am on equal footing with them in the shadow of the Cross. In the same way, I have nothing to do with how they finish in their faith or the race they run. He has set that path before them in the same way He has set that path before me. Yet, as a parent, that’s pretty difficult to grasp. The idea that we don’t get to craft where our kids end up in life is tough. But God is the author and finisher of their story. We are just a supporting character that He has chosen to use in the book of their life.
Letting Go of Our Expectations
At the time, that meant I needed to let go of the ideas of “perfection” I had for how my girls would live their lives. There were troubles I could and should keep them safe from, but sometimes God calls our children into a storm that He knows will be redeemed later in their lives. As parents, we’re in the boat, calling them back to safety while He is with them in the waves, letting them be whipped back and forth.
You see, it takes a former drug addict to fully minister to the one begging for deliverance from the bondage of drugs, and it takes a mom who got pregnant as a teenager and chose to raise her child to minister to the fearful teenager grappling with the decision of birth or termination. As a mom, I would choose to protect my kids from those things and more, but God says, “Just trust me with them in the waves.” My job was simply to love them and lean on Him. To not give up on them—no matter what. To have peace in the trouble because He has already overcome whatever bondage is trying to drown them.
Prayer Starters for Finding Peace of Mind
Many times, the things that take us out early on a path that God would have us complete are simple: Our expectations don’t match reality. When we can let go of what we think it should look like to embrace the sometimes difficult beauty of what it is, then we can find the peace that transcends understanding in the midst of our trouble or disappointment.
It’s this peace that gives us the strength to hold on tightly to God and trust Him in the midst of our own waves. Here are some prayer starters to help you seek God in a deeper way:
- Father, help me let go of any idea that would prevent me from simply trusting you.
- Bring people into my life who can lift me up, encourage me, and challenge me every step of the way.
- Teach me to trust you in the waves.
- Thank you for the opportunity to potentially parent one of your precious children. Please give me the insight to be a good influence in their life while trusting you to write the story of their life.
As you prepare to step forward in peace, I encourage you to put aside your ideas of what this journey should look like and embrace where the journey could take you—with God by your side.
